Hey Dude's...!! how you guy's doing..?? i'm awesome man..!!!........sorry everyone, just a few of the things i heard whilst across the 'pond' last week, it's quite funny really listening to how the 'yanks' talk..!! it's so much 'in your face' and 'over the top' if you see what i mean, anyway enough about that lot..............Good evening everyone and welcome once again to this weeks 'Commanders Corner'.

First of all apologies for being a day late its just that there was alot going on in Badnessland over the weekend and today is the first opportunity i've had to write the Corner, look on the bright side though, its only six days till the next one instead of seven........every cloud and all that..!!! Anyway it could be worse, you could have the biggest Bollocks in the world...!!!!

Well, i had a cool time in New York, headed down to Atlantic City for a night and ended up seeing a Beatle tribute band in one of the casino's, not bad but Americans putting on a 'scouse' accent just does'nt work..!! The worse bit though is always the journey home, six an' half hours sat on a plane with a total freak sat next to you..!!! ( i always get em..!), mind you, it was nothing compared to the journey we experienced last Friday night......but more of that later....

We headed down to Portsmouth last Friday to perform at the Marriot Hotel as Shomaddymaddy. Now when you get a gig at a place like this you always assume its either a wedding or 40th or some kind of private doo that someone has booked which is what we all thought it was, however, upon arrival we discovered it was just an evening the hotel had put on itself (well not actually the hotel cos its just bricks and motar............the actual management i mean.....) anyway it was billed as 'An evening with Shomaddymaddy'' and it included a three course meal as well, not bad for the ticket price of about £25....!!! Now it was'nt the biggest of rooms where we were playing and the faces on the management and staff as we wheeled the PA speakers in was a picture of both suprise and horror...!!! Piss funny as well..!!! Anyway they had nowt to worry about as we blew the roof off......not in volume............ but in the way we went down, with it being rather a small room it made the gig nice and 'intermate' and the audience were cracking as well, all in all a most enjoyable evening..!!! Oh yeah.....thanks for the meal we all had...F**k all your honour...!! Not a fucking carrot..!!

I tell you what, this 'credit crunch' things getting a bit bad in'it..?? have you seen the new cheaper iphone's just out ??????......................

It's even hitting Hollywood as well, check out the new Lord Of The Rings film..!!!!

Jeremy Clarkson's not been the same since the new 'economy' Ferrari was launched..!!!

The popular game shows have had to adapt to it as well...!!!

And everyone's had to get extra job's just to survive.................and i mean everyone..!!!

After the gig at the Marriot we set off about 2am to travel through the night to the next gig, (James) Galloway in Scotland....................yes you have read it right.......Portsmouth to Scotland....!!! Like i mentioned earlier on it made the New York journey seem like a trip to the local Netto's...!!!!! Anyway we arrived at the Auchenlarie Holiday Park about 11am later that morning and with Matthew and myself doing the drive we were pretty f**ked by the time we got there ( and thats putting it mildly..!!). After a couple of hours kip we set up and headed off to watch the 'CITY' WHOOP THEM 'GOONERS' ARSES...!!!! Come........On...............You........'ull....!!!!! Lee Dixon........Charlie George.......Bob Wilson....Liam Brady....Frank Mclintock.......Ian Wright.....Alan Sunderland.....Tony Adams...!!! We gave your boys one hell of a beating...!!!!!

Obviously we were all in a cracking mood by the time we went on stage as Shomaddymaddy for the first show about 10 o'clock and the room was buzzing...the gig was sold out a month ago and there was a waiting list for tickets as long as Arsene Wenger's face on Saturday evening...!!! An hour and half later we took to the stage as Badness and even though it went down really well we found it did'nt go down as well as Shomaddymaddy did, strange cos that does'nt happen that often..!!! Thanks to all the staff up at Auchenlarie for their hospitality, accomodation and food were greatly appreciated.

Well i'm afraid that wraps it up again for another week, thank you all for dropping in to this weeks Commanders Corner and before i go i'd just like to say to you all don't get too down hearted if your feeling the pinch with all this 'credit crunch' thing cos there's always someone worse off than you................

WHAT THE F**K IS THAT ALL ABOUT...???????

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THE COMMANDER HAS LEFT THE BUILDING...........